So I didn't get to blog here yesterday, but I still got to blog on my profile on Maureen Johnson's ning. I still have blogged everyday this month so far. I am hoping to keep it up!!
So yesterday. I had orchestra practice because This Friday we are going to be having a Tenebrae service. For those that don't know Tenebrae means the cross...from what I heard. So if you've been reading my blog you know that I was stressing about yesterday. I was afraid that my friend(Whom I told I kind of liked on Monday) would completely not talk to me because of what I said to him. I was also afraid of it being an awkward situation. Well Good news, It wasn't awkward at all. We talked like we normally would, and it seemed like it never happened. I'm super happy about that because he is a really good friend of mine, and I like talking to him about random things. So things are good, and I am not disappointed anymore. I would like to take it back yes, but it didn't seem to cause much damage. Though he is very good at hiding things, so who knows really.
Anyway. The reason for the name of this blog entry is because I recently joined a street team called System of Freaks. It's for the band Mary Magdalan. Her music is awesome. I like it a lot, and makes me want to do what makes me happy with myself. I am proud to be a member of the street team, and I'm ready to spread the word of her music, and to make a difference for music I like. Though it's metal, so most of my friends would not listen to it, but I will find someone that will.
I have to get ready for my radio show, which is in an hour. I also have to research for the podcast, which we normally record on a Saturday, but we are having to record on a Thursday. I am hoping that they'll let me record on the Thursday of the weekend I'm going to Awanita. Or else I'll be absent for another show. lol.
Well I'm going to go.
Best Wishes
~ALicia~
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Difference of opinion.
I like what Delightfully mediocre said in a comment to my last blog. She said that she considers disappointment and rejection a difference of Opinion. I find that to be more opptimistic and doesn't hurt as much to think of it like that. SO I'd like to thank you first before I start telling you what happened. By The way on her Last.fm she has a picture of Amelie, which so happens to be my favorite Foreign movie. So Delightfully Mediocre...You are awesome in my book!!!
Anyway. Like I said in my blog post yesterday, I said I was going to tell this guy that I like him (I'd like to keep his name a secret.) Anyway I wanted to tell him in person so badly, but I'm the biggest wuss ever. I decided to ask him if he'd be online in the allotted time slot (Because my brother wasn't home in between that time.) So he got on about 4:50ish. So we talked about random stuff for an hour, and when it was time for me to go, I made the stupid mistake of saying. oh I forgot to tell you what i wanted to tell you. and he asked if I had time. I said I guess. I wanted to tell you this yesterday, but I think I kind of like you.
All he said was ok. I then said I better go cya.
I feel like such an idiot. I now have to see him at orchestra practice tomorrow. It's going to be so awkward, and I'm going to be so embarrassed. That's why after I got offline, I watched as much IT Crowd as I could, so I could take my mind off of the situation that wouldn't have happened if I didn't all of a sudden get brave.
I guess God didn't want us together like that. Maybe we were just meant as friends. I just hope we can stay friends and no be so awkward around each other.
Anyway. My brother doesn't have to work tomorrow, so I more than likely will not be able to blog tomorrow. *tear* So much for wanting to complete BEDA. I knew it was going to be an almost impossible feat for me to complete. At least I tried!!! I can at least keep my promise that I made about blogging ever day that I am on the computer.
Other than that I have just been watching The IT Crowd, and I started to watch Bleach (The Japanese version. I watched one episode of the English version, and hated the voice overs.)
Well I have to wrap this up. I'm about to go hang out with my friend Nicole. I need it!!!
Anyway. Like I said in my blog post yesterday, I said I was going to tell this guy that I like him (I'd like to keep his name a secret.) Anyway I wanted to tell him in person so badly, but I'm the biggest wuss ever. I decided to ask him if he'd be online in the allotted time slot (Because my brother wasn't home in between that time.) So he got on about 4:50ish. So we talked about random stuff for an hour, and when it was time for me to go, I made the stupid mistake of saying. oh I forgot to tell you what i wanted to tell you. and he asked if I had time. I said I guess. I wanted to tell you this yesterday, but I think I kind of like you.
All he said was ok. I then said I better go cya.
I feel like such an idiot. I now have to see him at orchestra practice tomorrow. It's going to be so awkward, and I'm going to be so embarrassed. That's why after I got offline, I watched as much IT Crowd as I could, so I could take my mind off of the situation that wouldn't have happened if I didn't all of a sudden get brave.
I guess God didn't want us together like that. Maybe we were just meant as friends. I just hope we can stay friends and no be so awkward around each other.
Anyway. My brother doesn't have to work tomorrow, so I more than likely will not be able to blog tomorrow. *tear* So much for wanting to complete BEDA. I knew it was going to be an almost impossible feat for me to complete. At least I tried!!! I can at least keep my promise that I made about blogging ever day that I am on the computer.
Other than that I have just been watching The IT Crowd, and I started to watch Bleach (The Japanese version. I watched one episode of the English version, and hated the voice overs.)
Well I have to wrap this up. I'm about to go hang out with my friend Nicole. I need it!!!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Today...
...Is Monday. Nothing interesting ever happens on a Monday. At least not till this very day.
Well it depends on if I don't get caught.
My brother told me that I was to leave the computer alone. Well considering I am making this blog post, I am disobeying his wishes. I already had a mind set that I needed to be online...at least on Facebook.
See I was going to tell the guy I like that I liked him yesterday, but I flaked out. So I decided in my mind that I'd at least tell him in a chat. I know that is very cowardly of myself, but I'm too afraid to get rejected face to face. I guess it's just the security of never having to show defeat or emotion in front of the other party.
That has always bothered me though. I have always wondered why I let emotions get the better of me. I should be able to say, "Okay" and get over it, but emotions always mess it up. I have always considered emotions to be signs of weakness. I used to be so good at hiding when things bothered me, and no one would ever think twice. I've been rejected so much in the past, that I had just gotten used to it. But it wasn't until a few years ago that I had gotten so over whelmed, that I just started crying one morning at school, and I couldn't stop at all that day. I guess it was 17 years of bottled up emotion making it's way out of me. Ever since then It's been really hard for me to keep any emotion from showing.
I'm still trying to get used to it, but how do you get used to disappointment?
Has anyone felt like that? Emotions are such fickled fiends!!!
Well wish me luck telling this guy I like him.
I need all the luck I can get.
Everyone have a great day!!!
DFTBA
Best Wishes
~Alicia~
PS Someone left me a comment somewhere on my blog. Something about the person having a long distant relationship, and I approved it, but I can't find the post it was on...at least I think I approved it.
Well it depends on if I don't get caught.
My brother told me that I was to leave the computer alone. Well considering I am making this blog post, I am disobeying his wishes. I already had a mind set that I needed to be online...at least on Facebook.
See I was going to tell the guy I like that I liked him yesterday, but I flaked out. So I decided in my mind that I'd at least tell him in a chat. I know that is very cowardly of myself, but I'm too afraid to get rejected face to face. I guess it's just the security of never having to show defeat or emotion in front of the other party.
That has always bothered me though. I have always wondered why I let emotions get the better of me. I should be able to say, "Okay" and get over it, but emotions always mess it up. I have always considered emotions to be signs of weakness. I used to be so good at hiding when things bothered me, and no one would ever think twice. I've been rejected so much in the past, that I had just gotten used to it. But it wasn't until a few years ago that I had gotten so over whelmed, that I just started crying one morning at school, and I couldn't stop at all that day. I guess it was 17 years of bottled up emotion making it's way out of me. Ever since then It's been really hard for me to keep any emotion from showing.
I'm still trying to get used to it, but how do you get used to disappointment?
Has anyone felt like that? Emotions are such fickled fiends!!!
Well wish me luck telling this guy I like him.
I need all the luck I can get.
Everyone have a great day!!!
DFTBA
Best Wishes
~Alicia~
PS Someone left me a comment somewhere on my blog. Something about the person having a long distant relationship, and I approved it, but I can't find the post it was on...at least I think I approved it.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Spring Is In The Air
..and I'm choking to death on it. Just kidding. lol. Just thought I'd use some of a lyric from one of my favorite bands Love You To Death (The actual lyric goes "Love is in the air and I'm choking to death on it)
Anyway it's day five of the BEDA. So far I'm in the clear of at least completing a week without missing a day. lol. *Thank goodness for Pickens County being on Spring break!*
After next Sunday, I'm not sure how things will go down.
I always love going to Church. Sunday's are one of my favorite days of the week. It's not only because I get to go to church, but I also get to dive into the word, and I get to see some of my closest friends. Great day so far.
It's such a beautiful day outside. I was happy that it was warm enough to go without a jacket.
So I'm in sort of a pickle so to speak. I like this guy, and I really want to tell him I like him...but I don't want to because it's so close to me going to Awanita. I don't want to doom any relationship, whether it be just friends or we actually start dating. I don't know. I've never been good with all this relationship stuff.
My friend Briana (Or Bippy) asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime this week. She's in Virgina right now for a Band trip. I haven't seen her in months. I miss that girl. We get confused for relatives so much. it's funny. She's awesome, and she's quite a fantastic guard girl!!! With her colorguard skills, she decreases world suck by a bunch!!!
I really have nothing to write about. I just wanted to keep up with the BEDA!!!
Best Wishes
DFTBA
~Alicia~
Anyway it's day five of the BEDA. So far I'm in the clear of at least completing a week without missing a day. lol. *Thank goodness for Pickens County being on Spring break!*
After next Sunday, I'm not sure how things will go down.
I always love going to Church. Sunday's are one of my favorite days of the week. It's not only because I get to go to church, but I also get to dive into the word, and I get to see some of my closest friends. Great day so far.
It's such a beautiful day outside. I was happy that it was warm enough to go without a jacket.
So I'm in sort of a pickle so to speak. I like this guy, and I really want to tell him I like him...but I don't want to because it's so close to me going to Awanita. I don't want to doom any relationship, whether it be just friends or we actually start dating. I don't know. I've never been good with all this relationship stuff.
My friend Briana (Or Bippy) asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime this week. She's in Virgina right now for a Band trip. I haven't seen her in months. I miss that girl. We get confused for relatives so much. it's funny. She's awesome, and she's quite a fantastic guard girl!!! With her colorguard skills, she decreases world suck by a bunch!!!
I really have nothing to write about. I just wanted to keep up with the BEDA!!!
Best Wishes
DFTBA
~Alicia~
Saturday, April 4, 2009
A Borrowed Post
I am calling this blog a borrowed post for this reason. I did this thing on facebook a few months ago where you list twenty Five random things about yourself. The only thing was, the facts were not really random, and anyone who knew me knew all those facts. That and it was also really rushed, and I didn't think it out. I decided for BEDA that I would completely redo the entire list, and make it to where if my best friend read it, they(I have two best friends Kathryn, and Clint) would have no clue about any of it. So here it is version 2.0 new and improved 25 random facts about myself.
1.) Here's The extent of my music fandom...If a song starts playing, more than likely I can name the band and the song title within the first measure of the music.
2.) Since I was little, I liked to learn the dance moves of music videos. I still do actually. I know the entire dance to The Pussycat Doll's "When I Grow Up." and half of "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. lol
3.) If I could be in any genre specific band, I'd so be in a Ska band!!!
4.) I do not go anywhere with out my zune, and almost anywhere without my camera.
5.) I collect quotes. All kinds. If you know of any good ones, send them my way.
6.) I only talk on the phone when I absolutely have to. If I had a cell phone, it'd mostly be used for text.
7.) I've always wanted to be on a roller derby team. I'm hoping to join one next year when I'm actually of age.
8.) I'd rather dance in front of a crowd then ever make a speech.
9.) I think my room is only ever clean for one week in a year. haha
10.) Most people like to eat, but I hate myself when I eat.
11.) I listen way better when I have a ear bud in one ear then without it. Don't ask me why.
12.) I am the easiest person to get with the phrase "That's what she said." I just don't know what I say until I say it.
13.) I love Cover songs by The Reel Big Fish. I like all songs by them actually.
14.) I'm boy challenged. I've only had one boyfriend, and when I tell someone I like them They normally only see me as either one of the guys, or just a friend.
15.) I want to be a koala Walla Woo Loo! No Lie!!!
16.) I like taking pictures of weird random things. Weird signs, weird plants, weird people. Anything really.
17.) I don't like wearing my hair up because I'm afraid of being mistaken for a guy. That's why I'll never have hair shorter than my shoulders ever again.
18.) I'd much rather receive an actual letter than an email. Makes things more exciting.
19.) I've never been on a plane and the only kinds of boats I've ever been on were paddle boats and kayaks.
20.) I prefer homemade or really abstract gifts over anything bought. That being said...I could probably start a lotion, and beauty shop with all the stuff like that I get. I never use it because it smells to strong.
21.) My favorite thing in my room is a glass chicken my best friend Clint and his family got me for my 19th birthday.
22.) I think the only time I'm not listening to music is during church, or when I'm at other people's houses. Other than that I always have it playing.
23.) My two years in marching band were by far the best years of my life.
24.) I wish I was shorter because I love wearing high heel boots.
25.) Dolphins are my favorite water animals, Horses are my favorite land animals, and my favorite air animals are bats. The only reason why is because I found a baby bat while cleaning a bath tub at Awanita and it was so adorable, and helpless. I named it Blinky. I wish myself and Zack could keep it, but everyone thought it was weird...so we had to let it go. :(
Well that's it. I hope it helped you get inside my mind a bit more.
I'm off to go record a video...maybe. Depends on what I feel like.
1.) Here's The extent of my music fandom...If a song starts playing, more than likely I can name the band and the song title within the first measure of the music.
2.) Since I was little, I liked to learn the dance moves of music videos. I still do actually. I know the entire dance to The Pussycat Doll's "When I Grow Up." and half of "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. lol
3.) If I could be in any genre specific band, I'd so be in a Ska band!!!
4.) I do not go anywhere with out my zune, and almost anywhere without my camera.
5.) I collect quotes. All kinds. If you know of any good ones, send them my way.
6.) I only talk on the phone when I absolutely have to. If I had a cell phone, it'd mostly be used for text.
7.) I've always wanted to be on a roller derby team. I'm hoping to join one next year when I'm actually of age.
8.) I'd rather dance in front of a crowd then ever make a speech.
9.) I think my room is only ever clean for one week in a year. haha
10.) Most people like to eat, but I hate myself when I eat.
11.) I listen way better when I have a ear bud in one ear then without it. Don't ask me why.
12.) I am the easiest person to get with the phrase "That's what she said." I just don't know what I say until I say it.
13.) I love Cover songs by The Reel Big Fish. I like all songs by them actually.
14.) I'm boy challenged. I've only had one boyfriend, and when I tell someone I like them They normally only see me as either one of the guys, or just a friend.
15.) I want to be a koala Walla Woo Loo! No Lie!!!
16.) I like taking pictures of weird random things. Weird signs, weird plants, weird people. Anything really.
17.) I don't like wearing my hair up because I'm afraid of being mistaken for a guy. That's why I'll never have hair shorter than my shoulders ever again.
18.) I'd much rather receive an actual letter than an email. Makes things more exciting.
19.) I've never been on a plane and the only kinds of boats I've ever been on were paddle boats and kayaks.
20.) I prefer homemade or really abstract gifts over anything bought. That being said...I could probably start a lotion, and beauty shop with all the stuff like that I get. I never use it because it smells to strong.
21.) My favorite thing in my room is a glass chicken my best friend Clint and his family got me for my 19th birthday.
22.) I think the only time I'm not listening to music is during church, or when I'm at other people's houses. Other than that I always have it playing.
23.) My two years in marching band were by far the best years of my life.
24.) I wish I was shorter because I love wearing high heel boots.
25.) Dolphins are my favorite water animals, Horses are my favorite land animals, and my favorite air animals are bats. The only reason why is because I found a baby bat while cleaning a bath tub at Awanita and it was so adorable, and helpless. I named it Blinky. I wish myself and Zack could keep it, but everyone thought it was weird...so we had to let it go. :(
Well that's it. I hope it helped you get inside my mind a bit more.
I'm off to go record a video...maybe. Depends on what I feel like.
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