He was pointing out the fact that since his brother left on his trip that he now has the house to himself when his parents are gone, and that he enjoys being alone. I for one don't really enjoy it all that much. I told him that I used to love being alone, but as time went on I kind of got bored of it.
I have never thought about why I don't like being alone anymore until last night and this afternoon. When I loved being alone, I didn't have many friends. The friends I had mostly used me to stay at my house and invite their boyfriends over so I was always left out. I didn't trust anyone at that point in my life, so it was better for me to just be alone all the time. That was okay with me. I also think that the school environment had something to do with that. I was surrounded by people who I couldn't stand most of the time, and I was made fun of and bullied. I think that being alone was my way of re-energizing myself for another day of the same thing.
When I joined color guard something changed about that. I was finally around like minded people. I made friends that actually wanted to hang out with me. My whole "trust no one" philosophy was slowly going away. I don't know if any of you have ever been in band or had friends in band, but you are practically around these people for hours at a time. Sometimes even for a whole day. When you around people non-stop for so long, and then suddenly you are stuck at home for long periods of time, it messes with you. I kind of went through a bout of depression after graduation because I was alone. So I think that is why I don't like being alone.
Now every once in a while I like being alone to recollect my thoughts or to film a video (I'm still not comfortable filming in front of people or with people being home), but I can't stand it for very long. I've had a taste of being away from the house, and I can't help but want more. I guess that will change when I get a car, but I doubt it.
I can understand where he is coming from being the youngest of three brothers and still in high school. He had the taste of being the only kid home when both of his brothers lived on campus at their colleges, but only for a semester. One of them transfered back home and is a commuter.
Today's music video is from Arcade Fire. It's the song "Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" off of their album "Funeral" This is the first song I had ever heard from them. They were performing it live on Later...With Jools Holland years ago. I loved almost immediately. The video is also really cool.
Alright it is fifteen minutes until midnight so I better post this!!! Darn those distracting chat conversations on facebook. Oh well. :)
DFTBA
~Alicia~
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