Monday, April 6, 2009

Today...

...Is Monday. Nothing interesting ever happens on a Monday. At least not till this very day.

Well it depends on if I don't get caught.

My brother told me that I was to leave the computer alone. Well considering I am making this blog post, I am disobeying his wishes. I already had a mind set that I needed to be online...at least on Facebook.

See I was going to tell the guy I like that I liked him yesterday, but I flaked out. So I decided in my mind that I'd at least tell him in a chat. I know that is very cowardly of myself, but I'm too afraid to get rejected face to face. I guess it's just the security of never having to show defeat or emotion in front of the other party.

That has always bothered me though. I have always wondered why I let emotions get the better of me. I should be able to say, "Okay" and get over it, but emotions always mess it up. I have always considered emotions to be signs of weakness. I used to be so good at hiding when things bothered me, and no one would ever think twice. I've been rejected so much in the past, that I had just gotten used to it. But it wasn't until a few years ago that I had gotten so over whelmed, that I just started crying one morning at school, and I couldn't stop at all that day. I guess it was 17 years of bottled up emotion making it's way out of me. Ever since then It's been really hard for me to keep any emotion from showing.

I'm still trying to get used to it, but how do you get used to disappointment?

Has anyone felt like that? Emotions are such fickled fiends!!!

Well wish me luck telling this guy I like him.

I need all the luck I can get.

Everyone have a great day!!!

DFTBA
Best Wishes
~Alicia~

PS Someone left me a comment somewhere on my blog. Something about the person having a long distant relationship, and I approved it, but I can't find the post it was on...at least I think I approved it.

1 comment:

notasecretagent said...

I hope it went well! Keep us updated. :) I think the key to dealing with disappointment/rejection (and I don't like to call it that - perhaps a difference of opinion?) is being comfortable with yourself first. Of course, I think that even when you are comfortable and confident that you're a pretty awesome person, it's hard not to get caught up in letting someone else's opinion effect how you feel. I'm still working on how to deal with that type of thing. Finding something that makes me feel good about myself and doing that for a while helps me.